Good Vibrations – 5 Pop Songs About Sex Toys

Love, passion, lust and sex has long been providing artists of all types with inspiration for music, film, literature and so on. Enough to think of Led Zeppelin and their passionate demand for wanting to be “your backdoor man” in Whole Lotta Love or the scorching hot scenes between Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke in 9 ½ weeks or, of course, E. L. James’s global bestseller, the Fifty Shades of Grey erotic novel series.

Sex in pop music lyrics can take many shapes and forms from the explicit (Anaconda by Nicki Minaj) to the blatant (Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon) to the romantic (Too Close by Next) and mysterious (Justify My Love by Madonna). You will even find songs about self-love and masturbation, the most famous example being I Touch Myself by The Divinyls.

So surely, there must be similar odes to sex toys…? Singers and songwriters must get inspired by their pleasure devices too…? There can’t still be a taboo around self-pleasure and sexual aids in 2017? Well, songs about vibrators are few and far between still, but we went out our way to find them for you. Here are 5 songs to blast from your speakers as you work through the aftermath of Valentine’s!

1., Vibe On – Dannii Minogue

Kylie’s little sister wrote this song about the wonders her vibrator can do for her and the lyrics could easily be used as advertisement or a product description. With lines such as “Jump on top it, sit right on it/Plug in give me my vibe on/Gotta have vibrations”, “Supernatural doing things that normal man can’t do” and “The ultimate stimulation/Straight out of the box”, Dannii is not hiding anything, she’s a self-confessed “vibraholic”! Is it possible that she’s singing about the Svakom Trysta? With a targeted rolling ball to stimulate the G-spot, this vibrator will definitely get your customers’ vibe on!

2., Strict Machine – Goldfrapp

A bit less explicit in referring to the object of self-desire, this song describes the vibrator as a strict machine that gives relentless pleasure. Alison Goldfrapp confesses her love for the “wonderful electric” and specifies her experience as such: “When you send me a pulse/Feel a wave of new love through me/I’m dressed in white noise/You know just what I want/So please”. While we can’t be sure what is Miss Goldfrapp’s favourite pleasure device, we can tell you what our strictest machine is… It has to be the Loving Joy Power Bullet, with 20 functions, this pocket rocket has no competition when it comes to a persistent, relentless and orgasmic buzz.

3., Toyz – Missy Elliott

In this song, Missy claims that “A toy every girl must have a toy” and we couldn’t agree more! While she doesn’t make specific reference to her vibrator of choice, she confesses to having a “bag full of toys” so she doesn’t need none of the boys. She also states “I’m just keeping myself occupied/Like all women do when they are taking a bath” so get your customers to give one of the best waterproof clitoral stimulators a go, the Satisfyer Pro 2. And Missy, if you are reading, this toy is will be your new favourite to use in the bathroom as the water enhances the air pressure wave stimulation keeping those multiple orgasms coming.

4., Vibrator – Motorhead

This is the odd one out on the list, written by men and adopting the perspective and point of view of a vibrator itself. Yes, you’ve read that right, the song is written from the perspective of a vibrator. “New battery, is that for me?/That’s something I could really use”, “Slick and smooth, I’m bound to improve your mood” and “I’m a vi-vi-vi-vibrator, with a power pack for a heart” are all pretty self-explanatory lines and with a whole range of Motorhead Vibrators, the tie-in couldn’t be more obvious. All the more surprising that this song was actually released in 1977!

5., B.O.B. – Macy Gray

With the punchy starting line – “He fits like a glove, always up for love” – Macy Gray wrote an actual love song to her vibrator and made a music video with an animated lady finger marching around her house. And before you think that Bob is a weird name for a vibrator, well, it also stands for Battery Operated Boyfriend. So why not get your customers to join Macy in her pursuit of solo fun – she claims at the end of the song that “Tonight I’m gonna love myself” – and offer them a real classic? Let one of the Jessica Rabbits become their Bob for the night and many more nights to come!

It is perhaps quite telling that we couldn’t find any songs about male pleasure devices… A taboo to break? Certainly. Until that happens, maybe Elvis Costello’s Pump it Up will do.

Do you know any other songs that should be mentioned here? Let us know in the comments below and remember to have fun!